Programming Note And Open Post: Hosted By A Drunk Raccoon
It’s another damn programming note! I promise this is the second to the last one of the summer… unless Prince Hot Ginge offers me an all-expenses trip to his chonies. Today is my born day (or as my family likes to call it, the anniversary of the day that they all learned that accidents really do happen!) and since it’s the 15th anniversary of my 21st birthday, I’m spending it DRINKING. Usually, I do my birthday drinking on the kitchen floor while eating an Albertsons sheet cake with my hands, but this year I’ve been given the gift of wine tasting wine guzzling in Napa. So while I’m busy asking “Um, can you please tell me where the Boone’s Farm Vineyard is?” and wine guzzling, J. Harvey is filling in for me and Allison is posting as usual. J. Harvey is covering for me today and Sunday. I’ll be back on Monday if I don’t turn into a damn grape from “tasting” all that wine.
Speaking of messy drunks (I’m talking about J. Harvey, not me, of course), here’s a video of a raccoon in a state many of us have been in before: drunk, lonely and messy. After spending a long day of taming alligators, raccoons like to unwind by breaking into warehouses full of booze to get fucked up. Gothamist says that this video of Drunk Raccoon was shot at Union Beer Distributors in Brooklyn. That raccoon. He probably got dumped by his piece and after he drowned his sorrows in free booze, he drunk texted the evil trick who broke his raccoon heart before passing out in a dumpster behind Pizza Hut.
We really should all be so lucky to have some funny dudes narrate our drunken antics. Now this is my kind of Planet Earth episode.