Miley Cyrus Reportedly Dating A Victoria’s Secret Model

June 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Here’s attention’s bottom bitch Miley Cyrus coming out of a bar in Soho with her other magical mystery whores. She couldn’t get out of that early season Project RunwayCandle in the Wind” challenge gown fast enough. Has anyone seen my bindis, y’all? My t-shirts referencin’ altered states of consciousness? Where are my various denims at?

The New York Daily News sez that the “I’m multi-gendered y’all!” Cyrus is dating Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell. They reportedly got together after she broke up with Patrick Schwarzenegger back in March, attending SXSW together and taking their gina bumpin’ on to Vegas afterwards

“They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They’re definitely together,” said our source.

Whoo, and “Turnt” is right. These cats are DONE UP. Turnt #2 just got a visit from the machine elves that work behind the scenes of the universe and she’s living for it. Miley’s bestie Wayne Coyne looks like Manson without the Napoleon complex-inspired murderous racism. I’d totally follow him to a ranch in Death Valley to trip balls around the campfire, secure in the knowledge that Sadie Mae Putz’s Hannah Montana royalties are footing the bill.

She’s got it all. She gets to molest pigs without police interference or documentaries being made about her. She gets a to-go beer for her backpack. The last time I tried to leave a bar with a bottle, it was snatched from my hand and I was informed I wasn’t allowed to return. What pig do I need to molest to be afforded these rights and privileges?

Oh, and that’s totally a down-on-his-luck Marilyn Manson dressed as Meryl and Goldie at the end of Death Becomes Her behind them. Check out more pics of the Miley Family in the gallery below, including some Instagram snaps of her and Stella Maxwell.

Pics: Splash

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