Jessica Lange Might Guest On AHS Hotel To Make Us Mourn For What Was

June 19, 2015 / Posted by:

I’m completely reading into something Ryan Murphy said in an interview with Deadline. As far as Jessica Lange is concerned, woman is done and Lady Gaga’s moving into American Horror Story Hotel. But there are dreams, we can have dreams. I can’t…can’t…reconcile ConstanceJudeFionaElsa being replaced with Gaga as a downtrodden chambermaid or the lifeguard. It’s just not right. I think I’d rather Madge check in and trip over balloons while accompanied by half-hearted cameo overlays from Beyonce and Miley. Anyway, what he said to fill us with false hope:

“Well, all I can say about that never say never with Jessica. She and I are doing something else right now. I’m producing a production of A Long Day’s Journey Into Night, that is one of her dream roles. She’s done it before and she wanted to do it again and I got the rights for her, we’re going to do that on Broadway. So we’re working again together, and I think if I went to Jessica and I had an amazing role, I think she would do it. I think she wanted some time off, but Jessica is somebody that is always about the role, in every season on this show.”

Considering the Casual Female XL shade that Jessica and her complete and total lack of fucks cast when asked about Gaga’s chances of success in replacing her, I wouldn’t bank on her ringing that front desk bell.

There is good news, though. Denis O’Hare (Burned Guy, necrobutler Spaulding, the con dude with the huge dick that they turned into a chicken last season) is back, as is Finn Wittrock. Dandy was an irritating-as-fuck character, but Finn Wittrock’s buttocks were not. So there’s that. (OH GOD, PLEASE COME BACK, JESSICA LANGE!)

Oh, and The Daily Beast asked Jessica about the aforementioned verbal bored wave she gave Gaga.  Follow the jump for a master class in how to avoid answering a question until the bitter end (as well as more pics of Gaga).

The new season is about to start filming and the lead torch is being passed to Lady Gaga. You were asked about it at the Paley Center panel, how you felt about her taking over, and people were trying to read into what you were saying by what you were not saying.

What did I say? I don’t remember.

You didn’t say much…

The question was, now that she was going to do it would I be interested in coming back to work with her or something.

Which was an interesting way to phrase that question.

It was a near-impossible question to answer. It reminded me of what Gertrude Stein supposedly said on her deathbed. When she said, “What is the answer? For that matter what is the question?” That’s how I felt. What is the question?

So the more clear question would be: How do you feel about her leading the show in your absence?

She’ll be surrounded by all those great actors. The same ones I had the great opportunity to work with. I have no idea if she’s an actor or not. But I’m sure it will all work out. I don’t know what the season is, what they’re doing, what the premise is, who the characters are. But all I can say is she’s going to have good writing and she’s going to have great actors to work with. It’s a good start.

Translation: I don’t really want to put effort into reading her but if you’re going to press – HA HA HA! Best of luck, bitch!

Here’s Gaga collecting an award from the Songwriters Hall of Fame last night:


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