For those of us who watch the broke down reboot of Dynasty called The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, our ears will no longer be filled with beautiful lines like “That’s because you don’t get your period anymore, bitch!” and “Go change your Depends because you’re so full of shit.” The 7 foot tall melting candlestick of rage known as Brandi Glanville has been pink-slipped by Bravo and will not be a regular on RHoBH next season. Joanna Krupa just laughed the stank right off of her pussy.
E! News says that a source claims that Bravo demoted the blueprint for LeAnn Rimes’ life from full-time Housewife to “friend of the Housewives.” The source says that Bravo dumped Brandi, because she doesn’t get along with any of the other Housewives and working with her is about as fun as taking a dump in a rest stop. Brandi hasn’t decided if she wants to take the demotion yet and this morning, she twatted this up:
I woke up with a sore throat and a HUGE decision to make today! #RHOBH Will let you all know later I promise !!
— Brandi Glanville (@BrandiGlanville) June 18, 2015
Brandi’s sore throat is either from drowning her sorrows with rubbing alcohol after she ran out of wine or it’s from her leaving Andy Cohen a million screaming cunt-filled voicemails.
Apparently, Kylie Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson are all coming back. Yolanda Foster is dealing with her illness, so she may not come back and Kim Richards has already been dumped in the “Bye, Bitch!” pile.
We all know what’s going to happen next. Since LeAnn Rimes is always two steps behind Brandi, she’ll probably join Real Housemesses of Beverly Hills and eventually release a book called Boozing And Instagramming. That’ll be good for Brandi. Because if LeAnn does the show, she won’t be home as much, which means she won’t notice that Brandi has moved into her guest room after not being able to pay rent.