For the first time in what feels like forever, that sentence was typed without sarcasm. She really looks clean! And that’s saying something, considering Miley Cyrus usually looks like a bottle of homemade Mountain Dew after a trailer park gang bang with an empty pizza box, an expired tube of anti-itch cream, and a sock full of gas station weed.
The aspiring genderqueer motivational speaker was at the amfAR Inspiration Gala in NYC last night to collect an Inspiration Award. I’m guessing Miley’s publicist Hollerin’ Hank saw the word “Gala” on her invitation and informed her that means “Y’alls gotta dress fancy-like and take a shower“, because she showed up looking like Tank Girl’s interpretation of Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Which is to say, very classy for Miley Cyrus. There’s not a nipple to be seen. I’m sure Miley’s nipples were very confused by all that fabric covering them; sort of like when you wake up with the covers over your face and start panicking because you think you’ve been buried alive.
Of course, it didn’t stay that way for long. During the auction portion of the Gala, Miley offered to show the crowd that her left boob was bigger than her right in an attempt to increase the bid from $65k to $69k on a series of art pieces she made inspired by Caitlin Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover. Thankfully, someone who respects gag reflexes bid $69k and they sold before she could whip them out.
Here’s more of Miley at the amfAR Inspiration Gala last night with her date, Tyler Ford, as well as the Leo to her Hyde, Wayne Coyne.