Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Pauline Spagnola of Pennsylvania who truly knows the secret to living for a century!

Queen Pauline has made it to her 36,500th day of living and so naturally, the local news interviewed her at her 100th birthday party and asked her what her secret is. Many of us have figured that the fountain of youth looks a lot like an open bar and Queen Pauline confirmed that shit. When the reporter at WNEP asked her what the key to a long life is, she blurted out: “DRINK A LOT OF BOOZE!”

All together now (to the tune of Fame): “BOOZE! I’m gonna to live for EVA!

So the next time my doctor gets all judgmental with my ass and tells me that I have to drink less sweet nectar and eat more vegetables or whatever, I’m going to tell him that I’m only taking medical advice from Pauline Spagnola. She has truly lived, knows what she’s talking about and I don’t have to pay a co-pay when I press play on her interview to find out what she’s prescribing me for my ailments (SPOILER ALERT: Booze. She’s prescribing me more booze). But seriously, I think what Pauline means is that when you get that old, booze may help you deal with some of the young dumb bitches around you. Preach Pauline!

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