Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 14, 2015 / Posted by:

David Pagmar, the hipster Swedish singer who yodeled out RiRi’s “Umbrella” in Swedish at the royal wedding yesterday!

Oh, so now I see why Duchess Kate’s attention whoring ass chose yesterday as the day to show her face for the first time since Princess Charlotte checked out of her womb royale. DK and the rest of the British royal family tried to show up Sweden, but nice try, because the day truly belonged to the hot and weird Swedish royal wedding. Hot bearded Swedish Prince Carl Philip, Duke of my b-hole, married his commoner girlfriend of about 5 years, topless model and reality trick Sofia Hellvquist, in front of 5 European queens (unfortunately, Harald Glööckler was not one of them), a Japanese princess and many more fancy royals in Stockholm, Sweden yesterday

Prince Carl Philip and Sofia Hellvquist got hitched at the chapel inside of the royal palace. Sofia wore a gown called “The Grace Kelly” from The Princess Bride Collection (now on clearance) at David’s Bridal and guests feasted on IKEA meatballs served on Alexander Skarsgard’s naked body and a cake made entirely of Swedish Fish. No, none of that is true, but 30-year-old Sofia did sashay down the aisle to an Enya song as 36-year-old Prince Carl Philip waited for her ass. And they left the chapel as a full choir sang out “Joyful, Joyful.” But the best part of the ceremony was when a singer sang Coldplay’s “Fix You and David Pagmar serenaded the two with a Swedish version of “Umbrella.” The “try not to laugh, try not to laugh” face on the priest behind Prince Carl Philip says everything about this beautiful mess:

I love it! This is almost more awkward and weird than the time my cousin got married on a weekday in a library and people checked out books around us. (Sadly, her bouquet wasn’t made out of microfiche.) I really hope that the royal wedding celebration was filled with more RiRi songs. I’m going to choose to believe that David Pagmar sang a Swedish version of “Bitch Better Have My Money” during the money dance at the reception and at the end of the night sang “Rude Boy” as the newlyweds went off to get their fuck on as husband and wife.

Pics: Wenn.com

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