Mimi’s Chichis Are Replacing Kate Upton’s Chichis In Those “Game Of War” Ads

June 12, 2015 / Posted by:

Hello Kitty Party, Ecco the Dolphin and Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six (it has “rainbow” in the title, okay) are just a few titles I’d spit out if you asked me to guess which game Mariah Carey is now the face of. But I guess Mimi’s management team subscribes to the “A Check IS A Check” way of doing business, because she has pulled out her bubble gum-scented Mr. Sketch marker and signed her name on a contract to replace the pair of chichis with a face known as Kate Upton in all those Game of War ads. “Mimi Replaces Kate Upton As The Face of Game of War” is not some shit I expected to read today.

Mimi has probably went ahead and ordered several custom-made solid gold unicorn horn dildos, because TMZ says that the Game of War bitches are paying her 7 figures for just two days work. Mimi will shoot a 30-second commercial and she’ll also do other promo shoots for the game. A source tells TMZ that one of Mimi’s songs is going to be used in the commercial. I’m guessing the song they plan to use is “Infinity” since her last high note in that shit has the power to paralyze the strongest of men and bring down fortresses.

The shoot is going to take 2 days, but the post-production is probably going to take 2 weeks, if not more. Whoever is making that commercial is going to need to get the sturdiest and bravest special effects artistes in the game to work their CGI magic on Mimi’s body until she’s happy. Talk about a game of war. By the end, they’ll be screaming for mercy, and they will beg for their overworked fingers to be chopped off when Mimi calls and asks, “Dahling, just erase another 1/10th of an inch off of my right thumb.”

Here’s Kate Upton’s replacement walking on her own (THIS IS A FIRST!) in Paris during the last few days.

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com

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