Even though Dustin Diamond will forever will be the undisputed holder of the title for Messiest Mess from Saved By The Bell, it’s nice to see his former TV crush doing her part to remind us all that Screech isn’t the only one who can cause the rest of the SBTB cast to see her name pop up in the news and utter the words, “Oh boy, what now.”
TMZ says that Lark Voorhies, aka Bayside’s acid-washed rich bitch legend Lisa Turtle, has been spending her days getting married a bunch of times to a music engineer she met a year ago on Facebook named Jimmy Green. According to TMZ, they had a commitment ceremony on April 1st and were legally married in Las Vegas on April 30th,. They’re planning another wedding sometime next year. No word on whether or not their first dance will be The Sprain.
Jimmy tells TMZ (never have three words potentially cursed a marriage more) that they’ve never lived together, and they’re currently looking for a place to live. So on top of everything, we can add “marrying a guy she already married that she still doesn’t live with” to that already messy sentence above.
I’m going to guess the reason Lisa Turtle and Facebook Jimmy keep getting married is because Jimmy keeps fucking up in the wedding day dress code department. I don’t know if that picture above is from their commitment ceremony or their Vegas wedding, but sloppy jeans and a t-shirt is clearly far too casual for Lark’s dramatic 1980s Palm Beach sunglasses-indoors society wife eleganza.
UPDATE: “Oh boy, what now” is right. Apparently Facebook Jimmy is wanted by the police for failing to appear in court after he was arrested for threatening to kill a store owner back in 2012. Kelly and Jessie, come get your girl – she needs you.