During an interview with Elle magazine, Kim Basinger (who sort of looks like a partially-thawed version of Nicole Kidman in the picture above) put on her smart glasses and scientific problem solver’s lab coat and schooled us on the steps women, especially actresses, should take if they want to rise up and rule the world. Warning: if you are a lady with a chronic case of the horn-horns, you are not going to like what you’re about to read.
“Women are important, and they have to be in the movies. So, what are you going to do? All we have to do is all hold our hands and stand up and say ‘No.’ We can stop having babies, we can stop having sex, everything. And then women will rule the world. We’d all hold hands and say, ‘No more.’ How about that? That’s it. Women would know their power.”
To be honest, I don’t know if I’d want to hold the hand of a woman who hasn’t been fucked in a while. Can you even imagine the nerve damage? “I’m sorry if I’m crushing your fingers, dear, but I’m just so, so horny.”
I understand what Kim is saying about the babies thing. Threatening to stop making humans is a good negotiation tactic, since it still takes a lady egg to make one. Not to mention that no more babies means a greater chance that super-smart dolphins will take over the world and enslave what’s left of humanity into aquatic servitude (or so I’ve read on the internet). But that “stop having sex” thing would be really difficult. Sure, it would be easy for Kim; all she has to do is picture her ex-husband screaming a bunch of offensive shit while covered in a layer of anger sweat, and she’s instantly turned off for the next six months. But what about the rest of us?