Last night, while watching Queens of Drama (aka the fake reality show starring Donna Mills that is watched by a grand total of 1 person), I began to get the puckers and that could only mean one thing: Celeb dick on the Internet! I answered the Peen Call and as I scrolled through Twitter, I saw tweet after tweet about how LeBron James’ dick guest starred on something called Game 4 of something called the NBA Finals.
Just before the game between the Warriors and the Cavaliers started, the camera caught a blurry piece of LeBron’s LePeen as he adjusted himself. The way hos were going on about it, I expected to see LeBron’s dick flop out of his shorts, grab the ball and make a 12 point dunk. (I don’t know exactly what a 12 point dunk is. I’m sure I learned that lingo while watching Eddie.) But while watching the peen slip, I nearly had to glue my eyeballs to the screen of my phone to see it.
Even though the cameraperson quickly put on a Travolta lens and zoomed all the way up in there like they were shooting an ocean documentary and trying to catch a rare eel slithering under some coral, it was still hard to see. Here’s the blink and you’ll miss it moment:
Thankfully, Deadspin cares about athlete dick, so they got a slightly NSFW screen shot of the soft Pirouette cookie in LeBron’s chonies:
It looks shy and not camera ready, but you know it worked for Beyonce and she churned out 12 cups of vegan coochie hummus while looking at that screen shot. The FCC may fine a bitch for LeBron’s dick slip and I’m sure they’ll find a way to make Janet Jackson pay for it.