That’s the face of someone who just realized they’re about to spend an entire week stuck on an island with a person who will definitely ask if the ice in their Mai Tai was made from artisanal hand-collected volcanic water that was filtered through the petals of an organic molokai flower.
Even though every time Gwyneth Paltrow calls up Jennifer Lawrence for a girl-hang, it probably goes straight to her machine, she’s still trying to make friends with her ex-husband’s new girlfriend. An “insider” tells Radar that Goopy is planning another beach vacation with Chris Martin and their kids, and this time she wants his girlfriend to come too. Radar says she’s also inviting her secret-not-secret boyfriend, American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk, and they’re all going to Hawaii. I think that might be the first time a week in Hawaii has ever sounded like a total nightmare.
“Gwyneth recognizes it’s time for Jen to meet the whole family, and she wants Chris to be there for Brad’s first proper bonding experience with the children. The plan is to spend a week together in Hawaii, as soon as all their schedules permit, but definitely before the end of summer.”
Of course, the insider says Jennifer Lawrence is “dreading” it, but she can’t talk Chris Martin out of it, because he’s still “spellbound” by Goopy. Spellbound? Um, are we sure that’s not just the result of a lack of oxygen to his brain from one of his scarves being tied too tight?
At the very least, JLaw could always make the best of a bad situation by trying to sneak SPAM into Gwyneth’s vegan palm leaf wraps and laughing when she asks “Oooh, what’s in this? It’s delicious!”
Here’s Goopy’s pre-sunrise beach cardio pilates partner with a whole bunch of hair extensions on her head walking from her car to her apartment in NYC yesterday.