Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Figo, the hero service dog who threw himself in front of a mini-bus to save his blind human from death!

When I read this story last night, I looked at my dog and said out loud, “This heroic bitch right here threw his ass in front of a goddamn moving mini-bus to save his human and what have you done for me lately?” (Yes, I’m one of those lonely people who asks his dog questions.) My dog didn’t give a hell, because: 1) He was sleeping and; 2) He can’t understand human words and even if he could he would pretend not to. But I know that if there was a piece of bacon on the road and a mini-bus was driving toward it, he’d throw me in front of the mini-bus to save the bacon. I don’t blame him. It’s bacon. (Also, he grew up mainly around cats, so you know.) But I digress…

The City of Brewster, New York better be preparing a big ass parade for Figo and he better be getting The Purple Snausage of Bravery for what he did. The Journal News says that on Monday morning, a mini school bus carrying two kindergarteners was making a left turn onto the road that Figo and his human, 62-year-old Audrey Stone, were crossing. The driver was focusing on oncoming traffic and didn’t notice Audrey, who is blind, and Figo crossing the crosswalk.

As the bus drove toward the crosswalk, Figo knew that shit was about to get seriously serious and leaped in front of the yellow machine of danger. Audrey was still hit, but Figo took some of the brunt. Audrey is in the hospital with broken ribs, a busted ankle, a messed up elbow and a cut on her head, but she’s expected to make a full recovery. Figo ended up with a major cut on his leg, but he’s going to be okay too.

The driver was hit with a summons for not stopping for people in the crosswalk.

The Brewster police chief said that even though Figo was injured, they basically had to pry him away from Audrey’s side after the accident:

“The dog took a lot of the blow. And he did not want to leave her side. He stood right with her. He was there to save her.”

You know how Hollywood has been trying to remake The Bodyguard? I’m all for a remake of The Bodyguard if they take out all the love story shit, replace Whitney Houston’s character with Audrey, replace Kevin Costner’s character with Figo and replace that final scene at the Oscars with Figo throwing himself in front of that mini-bus as “I Have Nothing” (or a slowed-down version of “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya“) plays.

Pic: CBS New York

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