One time while I was at LAX, I watched a dude in lime green CROCs and what looked like Affliction shorts hug and kiss on his piece who was wearing hot pink UGGs. It was one of the most unholiest things I’ve ever seen (and that’s saying a lot since I watch a lot of reality TV) and I almost missed my flight on purpose so that I could run to the nearest church and dip my eyeballs in holy water. Well, that unholy scene that happened on the grounds of LAX has now been wiped clean, along with every sin committed there, thanks to God’s earth ambassador Dame St. Angie Jolie and the child army blessing that airport with their holy presence yesterday. LAX is now clean! Oh, yeah and Brad Pitt also tagged along while looking like he was about to pull out a guitar and sing Skynyrd songs for loose change.
Dame St. Angie Jolie, Brad and their child army flew from LAX to Paris and Paris to Nice. The Daily Mail has pictures of the holy family taking their seats in coach on the short flight from Paris to Nice. Yes, coach! If you have ever rolled your eyes at me when I called Angie Jolie a saint, you will never roll them again, because she obviously is. I mean, sitting in coach? The saint of all saints.
In other Dame Saint news, Angie Jolie talked to actor Domhnall Gleeson, whom she directed in Unbroken, for Interview Magazine. Domhnall is in the new Star Wars movie and St. Angie tells him that even though he’s in a Star Wars movie, his future kids will never think he’s cool.
JOLIE: You still won’t be cool to your children no matter what you do. But the Star Wars movies always have these beautiful messages and they are quite profound. And you will have this thing where, wherever you go in the world, you will be an artist and familiar to them.
Wait, so is St. Angie saying that her kids think she’s kind of uncool? Jennifer Aniston’s impact!