Because Nabisco is probably in cahoots with the makers of Insulin, a thing called “Brownie Batter Oreos” may be available to make an appearance in our eating holes and stomach bags sometime soon. Last month, The A.V. Club was at something called the Sweet and Snacks expo (I want to go to there) in Chicago where they spotted and took a picture of a stoner wonderland wrapped in heaven. They took a picture of Oreo’s newest flavor: Brownie Batter! That gushy sound you hear is Kirstie Alley churning out ten gallons of panty pudding while thinking about Brownie Batter Oreos as she writes a break-up letter to Organic Liasons.
The Impulsive Buy says that Brownie Batter Oreos are a real thing and it looks like they really will be sold in stores. But they’re probably going to be limited-edition like S’mores, Cotton Candy, Watermelon, Strawberry Milkshake, Root Beer Float, Pineapple Jizz and Red Velvet Oreos. I made up Pineapple Jizz Oreos, but I’m sure it’s coming soon (punned on purpose).
You know, I don’t know about those Brownie Batter Oreos. I should be licking the screen, but I’m not. I consider myself a purist, so I prefer to eat brownie batter out of a bowl with my bare hands while bawling in the corner of my darkened bedroom over the state of my life. That stupid Oreo cookie will just get in the way of me doing that.