Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 5, 2015 / Posted by:

Today is the most important American holiday of all American holidays (in my head and probably Chris Christie’s head). It’s National Donut Day! It’s the day we show our appreciation for the deep fried circle of lie by swallowing it, bathing in it, fucking it, marrying it, exfoliating with it, brushing our teeth with it, etc.. etc!

And in honor of this extremely important holiday, today’s HSOTD is Dunkin’ Donuts Cereal from the 80s, which I don’t think I’ve ever eaten. Dunkin’ Donuts didn’t exist in California in the 80s, so I knew the cereal before I knew there were actual Dunkin’ Donuts stores. A box of Dunkin’ Donuts cereal was filled with two bags. One bag had tiny, crunchy glazed donuts in it and the other had tiny, crunchy chocolate donuts in it. You could fill your mouth with the best of both worlds.  A sadness covers my soul when I tell myself that I’ll never ever be able to eat Dunkin’ Donuts cereal. But I guess I can sort of get the sensation of eating it by filling my mouth hole with Cheerios, Hershey’s powder and a bag of sugar at the same time.

Here’s the commercial starring Fred the Baker (RIP):

I’m not sure if I’m alone in this, but every time I watch him say “time to make the donuts,” I take it as a euphemism. Happy National Donut Day!

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