During a recent interview with TIME, bottled water’s closest living relative Blake Lively admitted that maybe she doesn’t love her artisanal faded online shopping website Preserve.us as much as she could. It’s probably a good thing clothing can’t express human emotions, otherwise that dress Blake is wearing above (that she “co-designed” for Preserve) might realize how disappointed she is in it and start bawling its seams off.
According to Blake, Anna Wintour wanted the launch of Preserve to coincide with the August 2014 issue of Vogue. And since Blake wants to appear on the cover of Vogue 7,392 more times, she sort of rushed to make sure Anna got what Anna wanted.
“The things that keep me up are things I look at on the site and I know could be better. I knew this was supposed to be better. Time and money, time and money. What I wanted Preserve to be at launch was not what it is at all. It’s just impossible! We found ourselves at launch and we had a Vogue cover set up, so I couldn’t call Anna Wintour and say ‘I need six more months’—people hacked into our site a week and a half before it was meant to launch, so the site leaked. The site’s not close to what I want it to be. I hope by the time it’s what I want it to be, my standards will be raised infinitely more.”
She also added: “If I had my dream, I’d put it on hold for six months or a year and then relaunch it.” Somewhere in the gold-plated offices of GOOP.com, Gwyneth Paltrow just popped a bottle of organic sparkling pressed French air and hollered at everyone to “Get in here in celebrate with me – Goopy’s in a good mood today.”
How rude of Anna Wintour to rush the launch of Preserve. Doesn’t she realize the time it takes to source the perfect hand-carved Antebellum-era decorative walking sticks, partially-rusted vintage typewriter keys, and hand-picked sun-faded lavender sprigs for a casually imperfect harvest table floral arrangement? I mean, a curated collection of repurposed saddle leather hair ties don’t photograph and Instagram filter themselves, you know.