What In Apply Twice-Daily Prescription Ointment Hell Is Happening Here

June 2, 2015 / Posted by:

Last Night, recently knocked up Kim Kardashian and kurrent husband Kanye West went to the CFDA Fashion Awards. I don’t know if it has something to do with Kim’s heavy metal genital warts dress or that my computer is just trying to give me a message, but every time I typed CFDA Fashion Awards, it kept autocorrecting to CDC Fashion Awards. Since I’ve already had a long hard talk with my computer about “that rash down there” being the result of purchasing a Groupon to a place called Ripper’s Discount Waxing, it’s probably in reference to Kim’s dress.

UsWeekly says that Kim’s dress is Proenza Schouler, but it also looks like something I would have made in a lazy attempt to get a Girl Scouts crafting badge using a garage sale Bedazzler and a pair of old nylons. Whatever it is, at least now I know what it looks like when a Transformer fucks a dirty Deceptacon and 3-to-5 days later realizes those bumps on his robot dick aren’t ingrown wires.

Here’s more of Kanye and Kim, who told Extra she felt “like shit” (cue all the “Yeah, and you look like…” jokes), and that the lucky fetus in her body gets to live in thereĀ until December. Yes, I said lucky – imagine how comfortable all that silicone and stuffing surrounding Kim’s body has made her womb? It must feel like sleeping in a Tempur-Pedic cocoon.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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