Mimi sees Hilary Duff’s Tinder music video and raises her a Match.com music video.
The Butterfly Hello Kitty Rainbow Unicornie Princess dropped a rhinestone-encrusted nugget into the gaping mouths of her lambs this morning when she released her video for her Nick Cannon diss track which ends with a high note that makes me reminisce about that happy moment in the 90s when my dial-up would finally connect. Mimi queefed up the video for “Infinity” on her Match.com profile, because that’s just what parched pop stars are doing nowadays. I, for one, cannot wait for Susan Boyle to drop her new music video on Purrsonals.
This is a piece of Mimi’s profile and it wouldn’t be a dating site profile unless you lie like there’s no tomorrow on it:
I mean, “social drinker.” Yeah, me too, meaning I can only be social if I’m fucking all the way plastered. And here’s the video:
That shit is a product placement buffet. Not only does she give you servings of Match.com, she gives you servings of her scented unicorn piss, Spanx and Caesar’s Palace. Mimi truly missed out on an opportunity to get some product placement for Preparation H in there, because the way she rubs up against that closet door tells me she’s got itchy butt.
But really, don’t we all spend our nights the way Mimi does in this video? Don’t we all get drunk on champagne (read: Barefoot wine from 7-Eleven) in our glamorous walk-in closet (read: the bathroom) before scrolling through Match.com (read: Grindr or Tinder) for a hot piece (read: absolutely anybody who messages us) to take us out (read: bone us until the cops come) in his luxurious convertible (read: his Chevy Spark parked in the parking lot of a Wendy’s). It’s like looking into a mirror.