“Oooooh, you bitches are so dead” is probably what all the 9th graders said as Lorde and Ellie Goulding nervously shuffled through the cafeteria with green trays in hand toward Taylor Swift who told them that they can’t sit with her and they better go and sit with the other losers at the round orange table in the corner. Lorde and Ellie Goulding dun goofed.
Since Tay Tay is a bitchy 15-year-old girl trapped in the body of a vintage Barbie doll, she wrote that Bad Blood (working title: Period Cramps) song about how Katy Perry stole one of her back-up dancers or some shit. I heard that Tay Tay also got revenge by carving the words “Katy Perry Iz A Cum Guzzling Skankosaur“ into a stall in the girl’s locker room bathroom and also told everyone that Katy Perry took a dump once and didn’t wash her hands afterward. Eww! A million members of Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad are in the Bad Blood video including Ellie Goulding. (Side note: A piece of me dies inside whenever I type “Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad” and that’s surprising since I thought I was completely dead inside.)
But well, over the weekend, Ellie Goulding and another member of Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad, Lorde, showed their traitor asses when they hung out and took a picture with that dancer-stealing hose beast tramp skeeza whore Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson! Lorde’s mom and Ellie Goulding both Instagrammed the above picture. In case you couldn’t tell since she doesn’t look like Emily the Strange’s stranger cousin who lives in a tree trunk in the dark part of the forest, Lorde is in the red dress in the middle. Ellie Goulding is the blonde getting strangled on the right and Katy Perry’s head is floating next to Lorde.
Ellie Goulding later deleted the picture from her Instagram and I’m guessing that had something to do with Taylor texting her with this:
That’s Emoji for: “Bitch, you dead and tell Lorde that she looks like shit as the Salsa Dancer Emoji.”
Taylor is totally going to get those traitor bitches for this. She’ll put them on clean-up crew after her Easy Bake Oven cupcake parties. Or maybe that picture proves that this Katy vs. Taylor feud is made up by their publicists and tween gossiping girls trapped in the bodies of 30-something gay bloggers are falling for it. No, that can’t be it.
Here’s Katy’s arch rival with Girl Squad members (there goes a piece of me into a coffin) Gigi Hadid and Martha Hunt in NYC this past weekend.