Night Crumbs

June 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan celebrated being probation-free in Venice, Italy by drinking some of the sweet nectar (“It’s just graaaaape juthe,” slurred out White Oprah) with her rumored new piece. LiLo continued to celebrate by running over a baby with a gondola and breaking an empty prosecco bottle on an Italian’s priest’s head – Lainey Gossip 

Kim Kartrashian looks like a constipated rubber trout on the cover of GlamourReality Tea 

Mindy Kaling says that it’s hard to make friends as an adult woman. I’m not a woman, but I am an adult (it says so on my drivers license, okay?) and it’s so not hard to make friends. Yes, most of the friends I make are imaginary or stuffed animals, but that counts! – Celebitchy

The Suicide Squad budget is probably five hundred kazillion dollars and yet they install that thirsty polyester weave in Margot Robbie’s head? – Egotastic! 

Backdoor Farrah squirted all over a pool party in Las Vegas, but this time the liquid she squirted out came from a water gun – WWTDD

Miley Cyrus’ mom shows off the hot groupie moves that used to get her backstage every time – Drunken Stepfather

Melissa Joan Hart’s bathing suit body looks different without Photoshop – The Superficial 

The kids that Caitlin Jenner didn’t make with Pimp Mama Kris aren’t going to be in her new reality show – HuffPo

Emmanuelle Chriqui wrapped a yellow sheet around her body, tucked the top into her strapless bra and called it a look – Popoholic

Caitlin Jenner will make her red carpet debut at the ESPYs where she’ll get the Arthur Ashe Courage Award – Towleroad

Farewell, Mrs. VoorheesOMG Blog

The goddess that is Jessica Lange doesn’t know what “trending on Twitter because people think Caitlyn Jenner looks like you” means, but she thinks it’s “wonderful” nonetheless – Jezebel

Allow this unimpressed pussy to fully express your thoughts about the world’s largest whoopee cushion. That being said, I’d totally do that vibrating nipple thing on the corner of the world’s largest whoopee cushion – Hollywood Tuna

Guilty French bulldog shows you what to do when someone accuses you of something you totally did – The Berry

Chad Michael Murray is somebody’s father – ICYDK

Tina Fey and Amy Schumer touched mouths at the Peabody Awards – Popsugar

And now for Vince Vaughn’s thoughts on gun control…and forks – Pajiba

Sadly, we won’t get to see Bill Murray as Ursula and a hipster Ariel, because Sofia Coppola has dropped out of The Little Mermaid movie – Just Jared

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