Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 1, 2015 / Posted by:

The anti-walking and texting snake who is the new face of the anti-walking and texting movement!

On the list of “Shit That Is Not Here For Your Texting And Walking Shenanigans,” go ahead and add “snakes” right above “fountains” and “stairs.” While going to work in Chickasha, Oklahoma, veteran skating rink DJ (File that under: Job Titles You Wish You Had) Tim Malone was paying more attention to the stuff on his Android screen than the ground. Tim tells KOCO 5, who was lucky to land the EXCLUSIVO interview with him, that he was texting while walking into Snakeland, I mean Skateland, (copyright: the local news reporter in the clip below) and he didn’t notice the snake on the ground in front of him. Tim stepped on the snake and since snakes don’t like to be stepped on, it bitch a trick. Thanks to some quick-thinking, Tim survived the harrowing ordeal.

“Adrenaline took over. And then I realized it was a snake and I started kicking. Get it off. There’s just those two little marks right there.”

Tim is going to live and he wasn’t seriously injured. The snake was non-venomous and Tim helped release it back into the wild. Here’s the report (complete with riveting surveillance video) that will definitely win KOCO 5 a Peabody:

So in case you’re keeping score:

Texters and walkers: 0

Snakes: ALL THE POINTS!

(For Jane)

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