As Azealia Banks Cackles With Glee Into The Night…..

May 29, 2015 / Posted by:

Bad news for those of you who really wanted to see a White Chicks Masking Doll burp up freestyles like, “Mobobobo Dididididid lkjalksdfjlakfjldsfal Monks Monks! Fire Fire! Jlasjdflkasdjflka!” It’s not going to happen, because the rillest in the game has just dumped plans for her first arena tour into the trash can along with the remnants of her original nose.

Shit wasn’t looking good for Iggy’s big tour last month when it was postponed. The rumor was that the dates were postponed, because Iggy wasn’t even trying to promote her own tour and wasn’t returning emails. But others reported that the dates were really postponed, because her tickets were selling about as well as Prozac at a Scientology convention. Well, the whole tour, which was supposed to open on September 18 in San Diego, has been scrapped. This email went out to ticketholders:

“The Iggy Azalea Great Escape Tour scheduled for this fall has been cancelled and refunds are available at point of purchase. There will be a new tour planned around Iggy’s new record to be released in 2016 and we apologize for any inconvenience.”

Iggy also confirmed this shit on Twitter.

Iggy is kind of brand new and they were booking her into 18,000 seat arenas and the average ticket price was $167. Many of her shows didn’t require a ticket for kids under the age of 3 and more than half of her fan base are toddlers. How the hell are you going to make money when most of your fans can get in for free? But seriously, whose idea was it for her to play arenas? (SPOILER ALERT: It was probably Iggy’s.) Even a legendary, multi-talented, world-renowned, beloved jewel like Charo would have a hard time selling out 18,000 seat venues on her own. And now I need to buttchug a gallon of liquid Prozac, because I depressed myself by saying that the greatest entertainer alive can’t sell out an arena

Iggy’s nemesis Azealia Banks hasn’t straight up said anything about this on Twitter, but she did tweet one of her lyrics:

Hmmm, I wonder who that is about?

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