While looking for pictures to go with this story about Bobby Flay’s roaming ginger dick, I pulled up this picture just as I bit into a buttered English Muffin. My dog is now enjoying a half-eaten buttered English Muffin, because I long my appetite while picturing Paula Deen’s nooks and crannies fill with freshly churned pussy butter as she got an eyeful of Bobby’s pasty goods.
If there ever was a #getmoneybitch (copyright: the most influential philosopher of our time Khia) tournament of champions, Stephanie March would definitely be in the finals, because she’s been pulling out all the stops in her fight to get more alimony cash out of Bobby Flay. She’s brought their old racehorse into the fight and claimed that he’d be nothing without her palate. InTouch Weekly (via The Daily Mail) says that Stephanie is now bringing the adventures of Bobby Flay’s freckled salchicha into it.
Stephanie says that during their 10 years of marriage, Bobby boned three side pieces including January Jones. (The other two could be his assistant and Giada De Laurentiis. Giada denies getting on Bobby.) In the legal documents, it’s alleged that Bobby cheated on March with January. Bobby must have a thing for fucking the months of the year. I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared to hear stories about how Bobby stuck it in June Shannon and wet humped on April Margera. Stephanie claims that Bobby and January did sex everywhere:
In Touch’s source alleges: ‘Stephanie is claiming in court papers that Bobby committed adultery with January several times during the early months of 2010.
‘She says they had sex many times and in different places, including the London hotel in Los Angeles.’
The rumors that Bobby and January have bumped wet parts have been around for a while. The rumors started in 2010 when January called Bobby for help after she hit some parked cars. Bobby and January met at the bar of The London Hotel earlier in the night and he gave her his number because she wanted her kitchen redone (that may or may not be a euphemism). Along with Matthew Vaughn and Jason Sudeikis, Bobby’s name even came up when we all tried to figure out who put a baby in January Jones.
InTouch’s source says that Stephanie has proof of Bobby’s cheating slut ways. Hmmm… I wonder what her proof is? Does she have records from The London Hotel that state that the smoke detectors went off the night January and Bobby were there, because that’s major proof. I mean, imagine all the smoke that would fill the room if Bobby stuck his fire rod in January’s ice box coochie?
And here’s some pictures that Stephanie can add to her file folder full of PROOF! While leaving a Memorial Day party with her kid, January held onto a balloon creature thing that sort of kind of looks like an orange peen. It proves that January still has Bobby Flay on the brain. Judgement for March!