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May 28, 2015 / Posted by:

MicroMagic foods from the magical 1980s!

There’s not much info about MicroMagic foods on the internet. It doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. Someone really needs to take that issue all the way up to the Supreme Court, because that’s just not right. MicroMagic was born sometime in 80s when microwaves were sort of affordable and food companies were showing us all the magical, wondrous things that the microwave can do. (We didn’t get a microwave until the late-ish 80s and when we did, it was like discovering the orgasm. When I opened up the box for the first time, the chorus to Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” played in my head.)

MicroMagic was the perfect quick food for latchkey kids and lazy bitches who didn’t want to drag their asses all the way to McDonald’s. There were MicroMagic hamburgers, fries, milkshakes and other fast food type shit. I only ate the MicroMagic fries, which apparently still exist in Japan, and since the memory bin in my brain has been fried beyond belief (probably from eating so much microwave food), I don’t remember what they tasted like. One blogger says that the burgers were sort of like cold lumps of grease (aka delicious!). I wish I could have the MicroMagic milkshake. I’m sure my mind would be blown like it’s never been blown before while watching a cup of ice cream melt in the microwave. Sorcery!

The internet tells me that MicroMagic went away in the 90s, but its commercials live on thanks to YouTube and the jingle for MicroMagic fries will live on in my head forever.

If MicroMagic still existed today, I’d probably have a freezer chest full of them in my living room. A freezer chest full of MicroMagic is a stoner’s heaven.

Pics: INSU

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