Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 24, 2015 / Posted by:

The first year Rob doll from Maxie’s World!

Believe it or not, The CW-fied Jem and the Holograms movie isn’t the first time that Jem has been done dirty. In 1986, Hasbro dumped Jem’s ass in the gutter after her doll line failed to sell as much as they wanted it to and they replaced her with an RC Cola version of herself: Maxie! Former HSOTD Maxie was the Rita Ora to Jem’s RiRi. Maxie was a do-gooding high school cheerleader who solved crimes on the side. The Maxie’s World cartoon came first and Hasbro hoped that Maxie would become their Barbie. They pushed out a line of Maxie’s World dolls including one of her boyfriend Rob. Yes, Rob is supposed to be in high school. That is seriously some Strangers with Candy meets reverse Tootsie shit, because he looks like a middle-aged Waffle House waitress circa 1967 masquerading as a teenage boy.

Rob was a footballer and soccer star and the most popular boy at Surfside High. I shouldn’t have to tell you that since it’s obvious. I mean, any teenage dude that has a gorgeous nest of sparkling yellow hair should be the most popular boy in school. Rob has hair like a Piggy Wiggly cashier named Doreen May who smokes Bel Air cigarettes, drives a pistachio green Ford Falcon station wagon, is known for her Jell-O molds and is the #22 Tupperware saleslady in Missouri. I’ve seen plastic Easter basket straw that looks more human than Rob’s hair does. It’s a stunning wonder:

robmaxiedollhsotd2015

Hasbro replaced this Rob doll a year later with a new Rob doll that looked like a third tier Matt Bomer impersonator. The new Rob doll looked more like the Rob in the cartoon. The Maxie toy line only lasted a few years and I’m not saying it failed because Hasbro made the wrong decision of de-glamming the Rob Doll, but well… I mean, the first Rob doll had hair like Miley Cyrus’ memaw and his eyebrows looked like sketches of a centipede. Why mess with perfection?

Pics: eBay, Amazon

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