That’s the look of a woman who just realized she’s being followed up the red carpet by Paris Hilton. A real calm-in-the-eyes yet screaming internally look. So Mélanie Laurent, who you may remember as either the French girl from Inglourious Basterds or the French girl who got caught rubbing up against Ewan McGregor’s married ass a couple years ago, recently spit some hot truth to Vanity Fair about the Cannes Film Festival. Apparently Mélanie isn’t here for the endless parade of fame whores, reality TV people, and whatever you’d call what Rita Ora is.
“I think we are going a bit too crazy. I remember 15 years ago, it was more charming. Less crazy. Less almost vulgar. More respectful.”
She then added “But I feel the same way for any other subject in the world.” Somewhere in the west wing of Castle Goopskull, the leader of the So Over-It Snob Squad just pulled out her solid-gold iPhone 9 and started composing an email to Mélanie that read “You sound great! Call me sometime? xo Gwyneth Paltrow.”
Normally I’d be down with such top-shelf shade, but I can’t help but feel bad for all those thirsty fame humpers who are working their asses off this week in Cannes. Every day, they are rolling off the deck of some rich dude’s yacht at the crack of noon so they can make it back to their hotel room (which they are no doubt sleeping three to a bed) to splash some water on their face, pick the dried up brie chunks out of their weave, apply 8-layers of makeup on top of the old, and make it downstairs in time for the 3 o’clock pap walk on the Promenade de la Croisette. Have some respect, Mélanie; being vulgar is hard work!
Speaking of, here are two of my favorites struttin’ for the paps earlier today. Why are Kelly Brook and former Hot Slut Hofit Golan at the Cannes Film Festival? Who cares!