Night Crumbs

May 20, 2015 / Posted by:

I don’t ever need Scientology, because when I looked at this terrifying picture of Tom Cruise looking like a deranged hillbilly hitchhiker killer (“So you mean less crazy-looking than usual?” – you), all the Thetans jumped off of my body and ran toward the nearest exit. Thank you, Tommy Girl! – Lainey Gossip 

Chris Pine’s new reality show piece sort of looks like Hoku. I think that’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever given to anybody – Celebitchy

Uncle Terry took pictures of Gisele Bundchen for W Magazine Korea. No word if he kept his creeper dick in his pants while doing so – Drunken Stepfather

Finally, the triumphant return of Zoila from Flipping Out is near! – Reality Tea 

Somebody who isn’t even close to being a star won Dancing with the StarsThe Superficial 

Mimi should really make her human walking stick coordinate with her ensemble – IDLYITW

There’s really nothing more American than a bunch of sweaty, half naked Naval Academy dudes scrambling up a monument that looks like a square, pointy dick. It’s my favorite time of year! – Towleroad

This is my future (I wish): Part 2 – Hollywood Tuna 

Adrianna from the 90210 reboot is at Cannes for some reason – Popoholic

Janice Dickinson is suing Bill Cosby for saying that she lied about him drugging and raping her – Jezebel

On a happier note, here’s Maya Rudolph proving that she needs a Las Vegas residency – OMG Blog

Lorde broke up professionally with the dude who discovered in the tree trunk outside of a witch’s lair many, many years ago – ICYDK

Carlton Banks is the new host of America’s Funniest Home Videos and yes, America’s Funniest Home Videos is still on – SOW

Now that Australia has gotten Boo and Pistol Depp out of the country, they’re coming for Nickelback next – HuffPo

Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed went to Cannes, are still married – Popsugar

Xtina did a bunch of impersonations and sadly, Samantha from Sex and the City wasn’t one of them – The Berry 

Conan O’Brien said nice things about David Letterman, but I didn’t read any of it, because I was too hypnotized by that ginger tidal wave crashing into his forehead – Just Jared

Pic: Splash

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