Bristol Palin May Have Called Off Her Wedding Because Her Fiancé Had A Secret Wife

May 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Normally when you’re thinking of making it legal with another person, you ask questions to make sure you’re compatible with each other. Stuff like “Would you say you like or love Shahs of Sunset?” or “In your opinion, how many bottles of wine is too many?” Once you get all the important shit out of the way, you move on to the boring questions like “Do you have a secret wife?” or “How many secret wives do you currently have?” Unfortunately, Bristol Palin’s mama was too busy practicing her smile-n-wink in the mirror to teach her daughter basic relationship 101, and now Bristol has once again found herself in the middle of some messy marriage drama.

Back in March, 24-year-old Bristol announced that she was engaged to a 26-year-old U.S. Marine named Dakota Meyer, and they were planning on getting hitched on Memorial Day Weekend. Then it got all kinds of Palin-y last week when it was revealed that Dakota Meyer may already have a wife. A friend of Bristol’s fiancé’s secret wife’s sister came forward and ratted his ass out, claiming that he got married in Kentucky when he was 19 and they still might be technically married.

Despite the fact that nobody can seem to find any paperwork on it, Dakota’s lawyer claims they totally got divorced back in 2010. Regardless, Bristol’s mama Sarah Palin announced yesterday on Facebook that Bristol and her maybe shady fiancé have axed their planned wedding.

“Bristol and Dakota couldn’t be more thankful for the love and support of family and friends over the past months while preparing for their wedding. They have informed loved ones that unfortunately the announced celebration planned for May 23 will not be held. Many friends and family still look forward to getting together that day in Kentucky anyway – and the Palins and Meyers are happily looking forward to still being at “the old Kentucky home” on May 23 to celebrate life, in general! Family members and close friends know they are welcome to share a great bar-b-que on the farm that day. All involved, especially Dakota, Bristol and Tripp, and their parents and grandparents, thank supporters for the love they’ve expressed.”

She also added a little message from Bristol, who also wants you to know that calling off her wedding less than a week before it was supposed to happen has NOTHING to do with the fact that her fiancé might still be married to some chick from Kentucky, okay?

“Regarding salacious headlines in recent days about ‘secret wives’, Dakota and I discussed our past relationships prior to our engagement. Dakota was legally divorced years ago, as any good reporter could and should have disclosed to readers. As usual, false stories and dramatically written headlines begging controversy should be disregarded, and we have faith that our privacy will be respected at this time by those with decency. Thank you!”

How tragic! All I wanted was to see Sarah Palin in some mother of the bride camo couture trying to break up a messy Memorial Day Weekend drunken wedding reception fight between Bristol and the secret wife, and now I’ll never get it I’ll have to wait at least another two years for when Bristol gets engaged again. How rude!

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