One of Rebel Wilson’s ex-classmates is pissed that she gets to be the young, fetus age of 29 and they have to be the decrepit, one-foot-in-the-grave, dusty butt hole age of 36. So they exposed Rebel Wilson to an Australian tabloid and called her old ass out for lying about EVERYTHING. The unnamed classmate says that many years ago Melanie Elizabeth Bownds killed Rebel Wilson, fed her body to the crocodiles and took over her name, age and identity. No, but the classmate claims that Rebel is lying about her age and upbringing. Commence pearl clutching!
Rebel Wilson’s Wikipedia page used to say she’s 29 (it’s since been changed). The old classmate tells Australia’s Woman’s Day that she’s not 29 and they didn’t know her as “Rebel” then. The old classmate also says that Rebel didn’t grow up in the “ghetto” like she claims and she was actually raised in an upper middle class family.
“She’s clearly got a vivid imagination. Maybe you have to tell stories to make it in Hollywood! I studied with Rebel at Tara Anglican School for Girls in North Parramatta, Sydney. But no-one knew of a Rebel Wilson. Her name is – or was – Melanie Elizabeth Bownds, and she’s 36 – she was born in 1979 and we left school in 1997. She was definitely not the class clown; none of us remember her being funny.”
The pissed off old classmate even coughed up the receipts:
The pissed off old classmate may think that they’re giving the world some juicy ass information, but they really aren’t. Rebel has said before that she and her siblings (Ryot, Liberty and Annachi) didn’t want to be teased at school so they went by their middle names. She also said that Wikipedia has her age wrong, but she wouldn’t say how old she is. Rebel joked about this shit on Twitter and gave me a new phrase (tall poppy syndrome) while doing so:
OMG I’m actually a 100 year old mermaid formerly known as “CC Chalice” ….thanks shady Australian press for your tall poppy syndrome x Okay but all jokes aside now…my real name is Fat Patricia x
Even if she did lie about her age, who cares. She wouldn’t be the first or the ten thousandth. Next, Rebel Wilson’s old classmate is really going to make me die of shock by telling me that Catherine Zeta-Jones, Beyonce, Jessica Chastain, Gabrielle Carteris, Eminem, Nelly, Ginger Spice, Agyness Deyn and Charo all lied about their age too. Actually, if they told me that I’d say “Who?” because I barely turned 18 and I don’t know who any of those old hos are.
Here’s Melanie Bownds shooting a movie in NYC with Dakota Johnson today.