Open Post: Hosted By Parker Posey Giving You 70s Palm Beach Norma Desmond At Cannes

May 17, 2015 / Posted by:

Question: Why aren’t those photographers elbowing each other in the face and falling over one another to get a picture of Parker Posey laying down some pure glamour and eleganza at Cannes on Friday night? I don’t know what they’re looking at instead of giving all of their attention to Parker? I’m guessing that they’re looking at a naked Phoebe Price riding in on a flaming tricycle while a bright blue poodle puppy sits on her head and juggles gerbils wearing clown costumes. Because that’s the only thing I can think of that can take the attention away from Parker’s pose game.

Parker is in that Woody Allen movie (You know the one about an old dude getting with a young chick) with Emma Stone and Joaquin Phoenix and that movie premiered at Cannes on Friday. While Emma wore a boring dress to the premiere, Parker Posey showed hos what a real movie star looks like by doing herself up like she’s on her way to Easter Sunday brunch at Studio 54. Parker looks like a coked up peach Fruit Roll-Up. This is how it’s done.

Page Six says that after Woody Allen’s Irrational Man showed at Cannes, the audience stood up and clapped for nearly 20 minutes. Some witness type said that Woody was uncomfortable and wanted them to stop clapping so he could leave. He didn’t know what to do. Gross ass Woody is so conceited and full of himself. The audience wasn’t clapping and standing for his movie. They were standing and clapping for Parker Posey’s ensemble!


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