Open Post: Hosted By A Greasy-Looking Matthew McConaughey

May 16, 2015 / Posted by:

I know that seeing Matthew McConaughey look like a durshbag (a douchebaggy dirtbag) shouldn’t shock me, since his red carpet routine involves coming off a 4-day bong bender and slipping into whatever fancy suit his assistant (Towelie) picked out for him. But good lord, what the sweet stoner hell is going on here? All I know is that this is how Matthew showed up to the photo call for The Sea of Trees at the Cannes Film Festival, and it’s all kinds of allwrong allwrong allwrong. He’s giving me ‘wet fart that fell from the ass of a shady hustler and landed on a dirty pile of pubes’ vibes, and I am NOT feeling it.

Or maybe Matthew McConaughey has a little Miss Cleo in him and he could predict that the premiere of The Sea of Trees was going to end in a sea of boos and thought “Fuck it, I’m not showering for this.” Although he didn’t really seem to mind the boos.

“Anyone has as much right to boo as they do to ovate…I like the film. I’m happy to be here, happy to be invited. Happy that the film got in.”

Then he went back to shooing away people who had been dared by their friends to sneak up behind him and sniff his hair. Speaking of, here’s more of Matthew McConaughey in Shia LaBeouf drag at both the photo call and red carpet premiere of The Sea of Trees with Naomi Watts and director Gus Van Sant.

Pics: Splash,

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