Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 16, 2015 / Posted by:

PB Max!

In the late 80s, Twix and a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup met in a bar, got wasted together, had a messy bareback one-night stand and 9 months later one of them birthed out PB Max. PB Max was a square candy bar that had a cookie base and was topped with a whole lot of peanut butter and covered with milk chocolate. Mars started selling PB Max in 1989-ish and it only lasted a few years. Some people still slobber hard at the mouth about it. When they reminisce about it, a single tear drop trickles down their cheek and “Missing You” by John Waite fills their head as they think about all the beautiful moments their mouth and PB Max created together. I’m sure some messes named their kids after PB Max.

What I remember most about PB Max is its commercials A Southern pepaw voice told us all the things that PB didn’t stand for. Any commercial that shouts out “plowboys” is my kind of commercial:

According to Wikipedia, PB Max wasn’t discontinued because nobody bought it anymore. It was apparently a hit. A dude who used to be a Mars executive claims that the Mars family killed PB Max because they don’t really like peanut butter. The HELL kind of corporation chooses anything over making as much money as possible?! Whatever happened to greed? So the Mars family put out a peanut butter candy bar even though peanut butter tastes like cold shit to them and after it became a hit and hos developed an addiction to that deliciousness, they just yanked it off the shelves because they can? I’ve seen some pure evil shit in my life, but that is true evil! For those of you who still get the moists from thinking about PB Max, I bet Mars is dead to you now and you will boycott them FOREVER (or until you get a craving for a Snickers).

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