When it was announced that Sony was about to light a match and burn yet another one of our cherished slumber party memories to the ground by remaking The Craft, my first instinct was to drop to my knees and scream “MANON, HOW COULD YOU?!?” while ugly crying my face off. My second instinct was to wonder what Fairuza Balk, aka boss witch Nancy Downs, thought of this future mess. Thankfully, Fairuza has a Twitter account and she wants you to know she also thinks this upcoming The Craft remake is a shameless cash snatch.
I couldn’t agree more. Why is Hollywood remaking anything when we STILL don’t have a biopic about Big Ang? The nerve of it all.
Sony should probably feel a little worried about all this, because their only hope of having anyone over the age of 14 go see the new Craft is officially dead. If I knew that Fairuza Balk was going to make a cameo in the remake, I would 100% pay money to see it. Hell, if Fairuza Balk made a cameo on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I might consider watching it (I said might – don’t save me a bed at Calmwood with just yet). But now that I know she doesn’t want anything to do with the remake, I don’t either. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I didn’t want anything to do with that crappy trash to begin with, but now I really don’t want anything to do with it.