Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s Yorkies, Boo and Pistol, will not be put down and turned into weave pieces for Queen Gina of The Real Housewives of Melbourne to wear. Australia’s Minister of Agriculture, Barnaby Joyce, threatened Boo and Pistol with a date with the Grim Reaper if they didn’t leave the country. Boo and Pistol escaped death and are now on a private jet headed back to the US.
This highly important international incident all started when Johnny Depp brought Boo and Pistol into Australia without following the country’s quarantine laws. Boo and Pistol were supposed to spend 10 days in a government quarantine facility. They didn’t. So Barnaby Joyce signed their deportation papers. Australia gave Johnny and Amber 50 hours to send their Yorkies back to the US. Johnny and Amber had until Saturday to put their Yorkies on a plane and they did just that on Friday night (Australia time).
Barnaby Joyce tweeted “Dogs gone” and I guess some people were confused as to which dogs he was talking about (Johnny or Boo and Pistol), so he clarified in a statement. If I posted the entire statement, it would take you 50 hours to read it, so here’s just a piece of it:
“Two dogs that were brought into Australia without meeting our import requirements have now been exported back to their country of origin. A Department of Agriculture officer has escorted the two dogs from the property in Queensland, where they had been held under quarantine order, to the airport for their flight home. The department issued the necessary export documentation and correspondence to the relevant veterinary authority to facilitate the repatriation of the dogs. All costs associated with returning the dogs were met by the owners.”
Johnny and Amber will both be hit with fines for breach of customs and quarantine regulations. Johnny hasn’t said shit about this mess to the media, but he and Amber were interviewed by quarantine officers today. Boo and Pistol aren’t completely done with this wreck of a situation yet. Believe it or not, the US has quarantine laws too. (Yeah, so I don’t know why Justin Bieber can come and go as he pleases.) Boo and Pistol could be put into quarantine if they don’t have proof of getting the rabies vaccination.
Johnny is in Australia to shoot Pirates of the Caribbean 123: A Check Really Is A Check. There was a rumor that Johnny was planning to go back to the US with his Yorkies. (The crew of Pirates would’ve loved that.) But it looks like Amber and Johnny both stayed in Australia and her dad is the one who escorted the outlaw pooches out of Australia.
Your pillow probably missed your head last night since it didn’t spend any time with it because you were up all night worrying about this major situation. But you can sleep tonight because this international nightmare is almost over. I bet Charlie Rose, Diane Sawyer, Oprah and Matt Lauer are currently throwing down in a knife fight over who gets the first EXCLUSIVE interview with Boo and Pistol. They’re wasting their time, because Boo and Pistol aren’t going to talk and not only because they can’t talk since they’re dogs. They’re going to sell the exclusive rights to their dramatic story to Tim Burton who will turn it into a sweeping cinematic epic starring Johnny as Pistol.