Although if you’ve only done 9 hours and 45 minutes of the required 125, that would technically be considered starting and not completing, right? Then again, starting implies it will get finished, and we all know there’s a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening. Regardless of what the correct word for whatever she’s doing is, the NY Daily News says that Lindsay Lohan will try to complete all those missing community service hours at a preschool in Brooklyn. A preschool. Take it away, Helen Lovejoy!
A “source” (a chardonnay-drunk Dina Lohan yelling into a Fisher-Price Chatter Telephone) says that Lindsay will be arriving in Brooklyn some time today and will begin her community service at the Duffield Children’s Center in Fort Greene on Tuesday. I’m sure that freckle-covered con artist is already working on her excuse to get out of it. “You didn’t say WHICH Tuesday! So long, suckers!” she cackles, as she boards a private jet bound for Fiji.
Lindsay has until May 28th to complete the remaining 115 hours of her community service. That works out to a little more than six-and-a-half hours every day for 17 days. I’m no Miss Cleo, but I’ve got a feeling my fingers will be typing the words “Lindsay Lohan claims she has a mysterious illness and can’t finish community service” sometime in the very near future.
Maybe that’s why LiLo chose to work at a preschool; she thought she could scam the system by listing her community service hours completed as “eleventy-hundred” and getting one of the 4-year-olds sign off on it. That, or the constant naps and juice.