Reese Witherspoon And Ryan Phillippe’s Kids Don’t Want To Watch Their Parents Do It In “Cruel Intentions”

You can file this under: Duh, No Shit, and Oh Lord Where’s The Bleach I Need To Wipe This Mental Image From My Brain, because really – I can’t think of anyone who would want to watch their parents hump on each other, even if it’s just for pretend. In the eyes of a person watching their parents do sex, a pretend hump is just as unsettling as the real thing.

During a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live, Reese Witherspoon admitted that Ava and Deacon Phillippe, the kids she made with her former husband Ryan Phillippe, have no interest in watching any movie starring Oscar-winning AMERICAN CITIZEN Reese Witherspoon. But they especially have no interest in watching their mom lose her pretend virginity to their dad in Cruel Intentions.

“They don’t have any interest in seeing me in movies. It’s weird for them. They’re like, ‘This is so weird!’ And especially seeing me and their dad having sex. It’s so weird. Not interested. They have this Cruel Intentions play in L.A. that’s like a musical. So I was going to take them to that. But they haven’t seen [the movie].”

Reese and Ryan’s kids are 15 and 11-years-old now (this just in: all our bones simultaneously turned to dust, because we are OLD), which means Netflix is bound to suggest that delicious piece of trash to them eventually. And it’s sad they’ll never watch it, because watching Sarah Michelle Gellar serving up 8 layers of bitchy slut for two hours is truly an experience. Maybe someone could re-cut Cruel Intentions in a way that makes it seem like Reese and Ryan are just friends? Or just delete their scenes entirely and make it exclusively about SMG. Where’s the Kickstarter for that? I have $10 and I would like to see that happen!