“Can you believe this shit?” whispered Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s eyes to all of us. No Ruth, I can’t. Kate McKinnon was ROBBED!
For those of you horny fucks crossing your fingers that On The Basics Of Sex is about current-day Ruth Bader Ginsburg getting her nasty on and that Natalie Portman will drop out at the last minute and be replaced by the Notorious RBG herself, I have some terrible news: it’s not about current-day Ruth Bader Ginsburg tearing up the bedroom, and Natalie probably won’t drop out. It’s actually about young RBG as she fights for equal rights throughout her career. They’re apparently going to start shooting this shit around the end of this year.
When I first heard this news, I naturally assumed Hollywood had pulled a Hollywood and cast 33-year-old Natalie Portman as 82-year-old Ruth Bader Ginsburg, because 33 is basically 82 in Hollywood years. But then once I realized they were setting On The Basics Of Sex back in time, it made a bit more sense. I guess if you squint hard enough they look alike. But does it even matter? Hollywood is just going to throw a pair of busted glasses on her face and pull her hair back and be like “Ta da! It’s the old judge lady who isn’t Judy!”
Speaking of, a movie about RBG is great and everything, but what I really want is a biopic about Judge Judy. I think we all do, really. Except knowing Hollywood, the role of Judith Sheindlin will be played by Jennifer Lawrence in a Joy Behar wig. Oh crap, I’m going to stop talking before I give Hollywood any ideas.