Poor Chris Hansen; he’s probably got a next-level case of shin splints from all the chairs he’s kicked out for Tyga to have a seat on.
According to TMZ, 25-year-old rapper/father/owner of some busted Ronald McDonald hair Tyga is no longer being coy about his relationship with 17-year-old future homeschool drop out/aspiring filler enthusiast Kylie Jenner. Tyga sort of dipped his toe into the shallow end of the poor decisions pool by getting her name tattooed on his arm, but recently he dove straight into the deep end. Even though the age of consent in California is still 18, TMZ says Tyga has been telling his friends that he’s not worried about statutory rape laws because his teenage girlfriend is “more mature” than most adults. Tyga thinks that because Kylie is a millionaire who runs a company and owns her own house, she’s basically a grown woman. “Looks like I’m no longer needed here” thought the numbers 1997 on her birth certificate.
Tyga also says there’s nothing “morally wrong” with dating a 17-year-old, and that he “doesn’t give a fuck about what the law says.” I’m going to use that one the next time I’m pulled over for steering my car with my knees so I can two-fist a pair of cheeseburgers.
Even though you and I know what Tyga and Kylie are doing is the definition of shady, not-right, and NO, “law enforcement sources” tell TMZ that unless someone files a complaint, there’s nothing they can do about it. And you know that even if someone were to file a complaint, it would be intercepted by Pimp Mama Kris’ telekinetic shitty parenting powers.
But where’s Kylie in all of this? If you said school, then you’re a dumbass. No! She’s filming Snapchat videos of herself getting “high as fuck“. Bruce Jenner, come get your plastic-looking kid!
I know that face Kylie is making after she takes a sloppy bite out of that biscuit. I do the same thing every time I get Popeyes (which is…too often than I care to admit), except the only difference is that I’m not high as fuck. Popeyes biscuits have that effect on me.