“Bitch stole my look!” screamed Kanye West.
David Letterman hands his desk over to Stephen Colbert on May 20th, so it’s not a surprise that some of his famous friends have been stopping by The Late Show to say so long, farewell (no one has sung that song yet, but I sure as hell hope if anyone does decide to do it, it’s Courtney Love after crushing a handful of Ambien into a box of wine). Last night, Tina Fey dropped by to say goodbye to David Letterman, and she did it by dropping her dress.
The Miss April of Taylor Swift’s Ladies of My Shit List wall calendar joked that she’d never get dressed up in a fancy dress for any other night-time talk show host, then proceeded to explain that it takes a lot of hard-working underwear to look as sucked in and tight as she does and that nobody else is worth rearranging her internal organs for. That’s when Tina got Dave to unzip her, she kicked off her dress, and busted out some custom shapewear.
The upper half of me was living for Tina Fey’s fuck-it-all attitude, but the bottom half of me was letting out a silent scream at that double-wrapped Spanx job. One pair of Spanx is a challenge, but Spanx AND a bodysuit?!? That’s the definition of playing life on expert level. My ass, hips, thighs, crack, gut, pussy, and back rolls salute yours, Tina. I can’t imagine how she got out of that contraption. My guess is that it was removed using a pair of trauma shears. That, or she’s still in them and praying for death to collect what’s left of her body.