— E! Online (@eonline) May 7, 2015
Well, I have heard that one way to treat an itchy pussy is to throw Gold Bond powder on it.
Adam Levine, the douche we’d all do, was outside of Jimmy Kimmel Live! yesterday signing autographs when a crazy bitch decided to waste an entire bag of powdered sugar by dumping it all over him. Shockingly enough, the sugar bomber wasn’t Jimmy Kimmel doing what Jimmy Kimmel does. The sugar bomber also wasn’t someone from PETA who wanted to get back at Adam for infecting dozens of pussies. The sugar bomber was just some crazy who thought it would be hilarious to douse Adam with sugar since Maroon 5 has a song out called “Sugar.” Adam did not appreciate getting turned into a douche donut and he stomped away while taking off his Santa Fe grandma jacket. This short clip which was recorded after that crazy bitch acted out a Def Leppard song on Adam Levine is best watched while blasting AZUCAR!
E! says that the sugar bomber, Navid Farsi, has a history of attacking famous types with a pun. He allegedly threw a rock at The Rock last week. The LAPD says that Navid Farsi was arrested for battery after Jimmy Kimmel’s security team handed him over to police. The police are a mess. Arrested for battery?! He threw sugar, not flour on Adam. Shouldn’t he be charged for sugary? I’ll stop while I’m not ahead.
The good news for Adam is that he didn’t have to clean himself up. Thirty seconds after he walked away, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan magically dropped from the sky and snorted all that white powder up.