Why, GOD, why couldn’t I have been born with the power to shape-shift into an Australia memaw?!
Prince Hot Ginge entered Australia four weeks ago to work with the Australian Defence Force. (I wish he’d enter my land down under, which isn’t like Australia at all. It’s more like Mordor.) His four-week placement came to an end today and the people came out to say goodbye to him. Daphne Dunne (the sly memaw above) had a G-rated Extreme Cougar Wives moment with Prince Hot Ginge when she took his hand and went in for a kiss. You may be thinking that those medals she’s wearing are for being an expert wooer and charmer, but those are her husband’s military medals. I’m going to need Granny Daphne to come out of retirement for a minute to teach me her ways, because she got a hot ginger kiss out of PHG, so she’s obviously doing everything right.
Many were horny for Harry at his goodbye party in Sydney today including a 21-year-old woman, who is kind of giving me “Whitney Port mashed up with Kiki Dunst” vibes. Victoria got Prince Hot Ginge’s attention by holding up a sign that read: MARRY ME (LAST CHANCE!) PRINCE HARRY. When Prince Hot Ginge came over to her, she actually asked him to marry her while an extra ornate Burger King crown was on her head. PHG said he’d think about it before he motioned to his security to have her name added to the restraining order list right under my name.
Part of me thinks that she’s my long-lost Australian spirit sister, because her love for PHG trumps her sense of shame. We are the same like that. But the other part of me thinks that what she did is just creepy and presumptuous. I mean, she doesn’t really know him. You can’t just ask a stranger to marry you. You can’t just go from a to cardboard marriage proposals. There’s an order to things. If I was her, I’d hold up a sign that read “Prince Harry, Can I Suck Your Dick?” and then I’d slowly move up to the marriage proposal sign. Whatever happened to old-fashioned romance and courting?
Pics: AP, Splash