Blake Lively Is The Latest Mumbly Actress To Join Woody Allen’s Next Film

May 7, 2015 / Posted by:

I don’t know if it’s because Blake Lively is about as exciting as a nap or that I’m easily distracted by booze, but I’m very interested in learning more about that drink hovering over her shoulder.

But back to Blake (“Awwww” said everyone who wanted to know more about that drink). According to Deadline, tryptophan’s closest living relative has been cast in Woody Allen’s new movie. Blake joins fellow mumbly actress Kristen Stewart, as well as Jesse Eisenberg and Bruce Willis.

Nobody knows what the hell this movie is about, but now that we have two of Hollywood’s premiere nearly-inaudible acting-challenged under-30 actresses on board…well, I still have no idea. Maybe Bruce Willis plays a middle-aged speech pathologist who falls in love with two of his clients who are barely half his age. Or a middle-aged oral surgeon who falls in love with two of his clients who are barely half his age. Or just a regular middle-aged dude who falls in love with two women barely half his age who also happen to both talk like their jaw muscles can’t be bothered. That one? Sure.

So far, Bland is signed on as an actress, and it makes sense that she’d do a Woody Allen film, considering she’s obsessed with dusty old relics from the past. But I’m sure once Woody discovers that she’s an old-timey music enthusiast, he’ll put her in charge of the film score too. Woody Allen’s films are always filled with jazz music that sounds like it was recorded on the tail of a weasel during the great depression, so it’s right up her alley!

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