Bradley Cooper And Irina Shayk Are Truly Moving At Light Speed

May 6, 2015 / Posted by:

Shortly before Bradley Cooper made an appearance on Good Morning America this morning to talk about bone marrow donation, Page Six says that he might have been trying to donate his boner to Irina Shayk (don’t get up; I’ll show myself out for that one). Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk have been maybe-dating for the past couple of weeks, but I guess their PR people decided it was time to take whatever they’re doing to the next level. “Sources” (8 of Bradley Cooper’s most gossipy eyebrow stylists) tell Page Six that B.Coop and I.Shayk spent the majority of Rihanna’s Met Gala afterparty making out in a dark corner. Ooooh, how middle school dance of them! I wonder if any of the adults told them to keep it Bible-width apart?

Bradley and Irina both went to the Met Gala, but not together. They met up later on at RiRi’s. They hung out with a group of their friends, which included Kerry Washington, the Winklevoss Twins, and Leonardo DiCaprio, but eventually snuck off to the “karaoke room” to mouth hump on each other.

One source claims they were making out till about 3 or 4 in the morning. No word on whether or not they left together. If you really want to see what Bradley Cooper making out with Irina Shayk looks like, the Daily Mail has some pictures that look like they were taken with a busted Motorola Razr.

I see what was going on there. All that making out was just Bradley Cooper’s way of keeping Leonardo DiCaprio from poaching his Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend. Smart move to sneak off to the “karaoke room“; when Leo gets his horny party hobo on, his movement is pretty much limited to just drinking, popping boners, and heavy breathing. Bradley clearly knew that Jack Nicholson Jr. would be far too lethargic to follow them into a room that would require him to stand upright and sing.

Here’s Bradley Cooper at GMA this morning swabbing his mouth for a bone marrow test. Speaking of light speed, I’m sure it took all of 0.003 seconds before the first pic below was Photoshopped into some next-level lewdness.

Pics:, Splash/INF

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