And Here’s JLo Serving Up Some Sexy Bedazzled Period Dragon Realness

May 5, 2015 / Posted by:

Face, face, work it, sell it. It’s that time of the month and there isn’t a tampon big enough to handle all this fierce mythological leakage” is what I assume was running through Jennifer Lopez’s brain while she was posing for her life. I know, that was redundant – JLo is always posing for her life. But last night she was working her sexy cat face hard, because it’s the only trick she had left to draw any attention away from that blood-barfing dragon thing on her dress.

I know it’s probably supposed to be fire, but let’s be honest with ourselves – it looks like blood. Either that, or that dragon ate too many Twizzlers during a red wine bender and is heaving them all up. Regardless, I can definitely see some Game of Thrones-obsessed boyfriend trying to recreate this dress for his girlfriend using a beige body stocking and $200 worth of sequins and stick-on gemstones from Hobby Lobby. “It appears your dress has lit my loins on fire, m’lady.

Or maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe that dragon is trying to yank the attention away from JLo’s killer body-oddy-oddy. For real, where is she hiding her Spanx? She’s not wearing any, you say? Oh, cool (loud shame weeping).

Here’s more of JLo, as well as Donatella Verrr-SOH-chee, who was dressed in some kind of weird black and red fishnet…sticker book…thing, and a bunch of other famous types in red dresses. Oh, and also Sienna Miller in what appears to be a child’s sized tuxedo with no shirt.

Pics: Splash,

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