I’m sure that Coleman cooler has been declared a holy artifact, was gilded and is making its way to Italy where it will be displayed at a museum in the Vatican. Or that ice cream vendor has retired from the ice cream vendor game after selling it for a load of cash to a Brangeloonie who sold their house, internal organs, cars and family to buy it.
While looking like Morticia Addams on holiday, Dame St. Angie Jolie bought ice cream at a soccer game for her three kids: Zahara, Shiloh and Brad Pitt. St. Angie and Brad, who looks like he’s in hipster dad cosplay, once again graced the field at Griffith Park in L.A. with their ethereal presence for their kids’ soccer game over the weekend. The soccer game lasted about 25 seconds and Zahara and Shiloh’s team won by default, because as soon as St. Angie and Brad Pitt had a seat in the stands, every parent and child turned around to face them, got on their knees and worshiped their holiness. It happens every time.
And you know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen St. Angie’s bulging forehead vein of doom and I’ve been missing it. But it looks like it has slithered down south to her arms for the winter and is now living in a bulging vein commune with other bulging veins. I can call off the search!