Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 2, 2015 / Posted by:

Tony Appleton, London’s OFFICIAL (in my heart) town crier!

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! This is a Hot Slut right here. No birth of any royal baby would be complete without Tony Appleton hollering out the news while wearing an ultra fancy feather hat (that’s ALMOST more fancy than Tama the Station Cat’s feather hat) and a costume I wish I would’ve worn when I went to the ren faire that one time. Tony is the president of the Guild of International Millennium Town Criers and he announced Baby Prince George’s born announcement, so of course he wasn’t going to miss out on announcing the new princess’ birth. Tony told UsWeekly outside of the Lindo Wing that he wrote Duchess Kate and Prince William and asked if it was okay if he brought some old-timey thee-turr to the front of the hospital like he did with the birth of Baby Prince George.

“I wrote to William and Kate about six months and asked them if I could announce the baby and heard from them right away. The last time for George I just showed up but this time they were expecting me. They said they’d be honored if I came here. I’ve been doing this for 25 years.

I’m happy for George that he has a sister. I knew he was going to get a sister. A little princess, how wonderful! England needs a little princess, especially with all this election nonsense! Knock all these politicians out of the way. Some happy news is what this world needs.”

Of course they said yes. They’d not only be unpatriotic, but they’d be crazy if they turned him down. Who wouldn’t want an 80-year-old British man in an extra fancy ensemble announcing their baby’s birth. Shit, I wish he’d wake me up in the morning. Screw an alarm. I want a town crier to come into my ¬†bedroom and say, “Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Get the fuck up.

Here’s Town Crier Tony in action this morning in London:

I have no idea what he said, but I’m all about that Faerie Tale Theater performance. The world definitely needs more town criers.

Pics: Wenn.com

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