No wonder the royal baby hasn’t checked out of Duchess Kate’s womb royale yet. The royal baby doesn’t want to come into a world where two of England’s most stunning and perfect swans are fighting.
It is a sad day in Britain, because the most gorgeous and elegant roses in its garden of beauty are spitting at each other. England’s finest rose Jodie Marsh is in the newest issue of Zoo Magazine (which is like Vogue but much more classier) and during the interview with the magazine she was asked about Katie Price downsizing those gigantic plastic titty balls. Jodie cut Katie to the white meat by saying that Harvey’s mother is nothing but a baby daddy-collecting slut hussy whore!
“Who? Oh year, her – the one who’s famous for having loads of different kids with different dads! I don’t care about Katie Price! Why do I care about how big her boobs are? I will get mine reduced at some point.”
Whatever happened to feminism?!
WHY, JODIE, WHY?!
Since Katie Price’s attention whore senses tingle whenever anybody mentions her name anywhere, she immediately found out about Jodie’s fightin’ words and slapped back hard on Twitter. I’m guessing that Katie Price was so mad that her hands went numb and she had to type her response with her clit, because she makes me look like I’ve got a PhD in grammar and spelling. Katie labeled Jodie as a £2 knock-off whose coochie is like a doggy bag because it’s had all of her leftovers in it. I thought it was traumatizing watching my mom and dad fight as a kid, but this is much more traumatizing.
This is like the Sophie’s Choice of fame whore feuds. I can’t pick a side. It’s impossible. When a slut slut-shames another slut after that slut has slut-shamed her, all of us sluts suffer. This is why every slut cries today. But I will say that part about Katie paying Jodie to give her ex a lap dance is kind of hot. Katie is Cristal Connors and Jodie is Nomi Malone. The only good that can come from this feud is a remake of Showgirls starring these two beautiful blossoms.