Uncle Jesse, You In Danger, Girl

April 27, 2015 / Posted by:

John Stamos better sleep on a floater in the middle of a pool full of holy water with crucifixes surrounding him and his body covered in polyester pajamas from KMart (the Olsens won’t get near anything that’s polyester and from KMart), because the Olsens are going to git him for calling them liars.

The Olsens apparently played dumb when Women’s Wear Daily asked them about the Full House spin-off called Fuller House. They acted like nobody talked to them about it and claimed they found out about it at the same time as everyone else. But I should’ve known not to believe what comes out of the mouth of those two shifty gothic leprechauns. John Stamos retweeted an article about the Olsens claiming he never told them about Fuller House and his response was: “I call bullshit.” Some source tells E! News that John Stamos has every right to call bullshit, because Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen did know about Fuller House before everyone else found out about it.

“They knew about the show. It wasn’t a surprise to them. They definitely knew it was happening.”

So they either lied because they thought playing stupid was nicer than saying, “We’re way too rich to do that trashy shit.” Or they genuinely forgot, because they’re too busy counting all the money they make from selling $30,000 whale leather cape coats. John Stamos better pop the NoDoz and stick toothpicks under his eyelids to stay awake, because the Olsens will break into his dreams and get revenge on him. No, they probably won’t. They are way too rich to give a fuck about what John Stamos says about them.

In other Full House news, Lifetime has decided to piggy back on the grand return of that shit by making an unauthorized Full House tell-all movie like they did with Saved By The Bell. Lifetime’s Saved By The Bell movie kind of flopped, but that’s not stopping them from making the Unauthorized Full House Story. via THR

In the same vein as its Saved By the Bell pic, Lifetime’s Full House Story will look at the rise of the cast — including John Stamos, Bob Saget and the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen — and explore the pressure they faced to balance idyllic family life on the show with the more complicated reality of their own lives outside the series. Additionally, it will look at the warm bond that grew between the cast as the show became one of America’s most beloved family sitcoms.

Casting will begin immediately. An air date for the Full House tell-all has yet to be determined.

Why is that movie happening? Did anything even remotely scandalous happen while making Full House? I’m sure the craziest thing that went down was the time DJ and Kimmy snuck into John Stamos’ trailer and took a few sips from the glass of white wine he had on the table. It’s not like Comet taught Stephanie how to smoke meth and Bob Saget acted out his Aristocrats joke for the crew while Alanis Morissette sucked Dave Coulier off in the studio’s screening room. Actually, now that I think about it, all of that probably happened.

And here’s John Stamos and Kevin Spacey at the fourth annual Reel Stories, Real Lives fundraiser in Hollywood over the weekend.

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