Open Post: Hosted By Brad Pitt’s Busted Up Face

April 26, 2015 / Posted by:

Former pants-dampening hunk and current guy who always looks like he’s super itchy in a million places Brad Pitt showed up to an Autism Speaks benefit last night with a huge gash on his face, and for the first time in a very long time, when people pointed at Brad Pitt’s face and asked “Awwww, what’s going on there?“, they weren’t talking about his scraggly-ass beard. Brad explained to People how his face got all scratched up, and no, it had nothing to do with leaning in for a kiss and cutting himself on Angelina Jolie’s razor-sharp cheekbones:

“This is what happens when you try to run up steps in the dark, with your arms full, wearing flip flops. Turns out if you then try to stop your forward momentum with your face, the result is road rash.”

The only questions left unanswered are: how stoned was he, and how many bags of Funyuns was he trying to carry. The flip flops sound about right though. Flip flops are the debbil; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten shit while wearing those foamy danger-makers. Sure, I was either drunk or stoned or distracted by a cute dog when it happened, but it was totally the flip flops fault!

Pics: Getty, Splash

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